how do you know if your baby is actually hungrey at night?

[eden/averymum]

I want to start working on night weaning, as it is they nurse every 3ish hours at night and ahve only skipped feeds on a mere handful of occasions. dh finishes exams tomorrow and is up to helping, but......how do I know if they are hungrey or otherwise?

[pmcgary]

How long is the longest time they go between feedings day or night? That gives you an ideal of what they are capable of - then you just have to figure if they are getting a full feeding at bedtime.....

Given their age they might not realistically be able to go much more than 3 hours --- esp. if they were 'little' ones who got off to a slow/smaller start....

[abigailvr]

Dr. Jay Gordon recommends not nightweaning until a child is a year old. Every kid is different, of course. My son nursed a lot at night for a long time because he was too busy to nurse during the day and wasn't that interested in solid foods until he was well over a year old.

Good luck. Waking to nurse can be exhausting and draining (in more ways than one!).

[clothusingmama]

I night weaned both of my girls at 1 year. They were doing the whole just suck thing and not really eating. They both got to the point where the milk would just run out of their mouths and all over the bed. Clearly they were not hungry, they just wanted to nurse. I switched them over to just snuggling them at night and we all got much more sleep. Of course my oldest is 6 and my little one is almost 2 but they both did the same thing :)

[mhurst]

I was just thinking about this. I really want to night wean ONE of my kids :) I mean Charlie is almost 3 for crying out loud! Sadly I'm not kidding.

I will start to make an effort to night wean Meredith when she is 1 (which is only 3 months away!!! I can't believe it!)

It is my understanding that some people with kids actually sleep through the night without having to nurse one of them...is this true or a myth?! :pig

[jmo]

Anwyn, at 31 months, now nurses to go to sleep, and there's a 50/50 shot she'll wake up at 4:00-4:30 and want to nurse again for just a little bit.

When I felt Anwyn was just nursing for comfort, I started cuddling her at her first waking instead of nursing right away. Most of the time, after a scant couple of minutes of telling me exactly what she thought of me, she fell asleep. However, if she was really upset, we would nurse of course. After the routine was established, she stopped waking up all night.

I tell you, though, at 4AM, all I want to do is go back to sleep, so I just nurse her. :LOL

[pageta]

I tried nightweaning, but I decided I would rather get up and nurse than have to deal with the crying. Sleeping through the night is nice, but it wasn't THAT nice IMO. I remember the feeling of just wanting a full night's sleep, though. It seemed like such an impossible luxury. Ben hasn't gotten up to nurse in ages - I think he was about 2 though when he finally stopped night nursing for good. He sleeps in his own bed, which helps. I actually got less sleep when he co-slept because he always wanted to nurse. I slept in the bed with just him and me one night and he nursed half as much...and that was when he started sleeping in his crib again.

When it comes down to it, you may think you want to nightwean, but then you may decide that the process is too painful and that it simply isn't worth it. Sometimes the path of least resistance isn't the path you would select based on that criteria until you traveled it. So my advice is to try it, and if you decide it isn't worth it, don't be mad at yourself.

I think motherhood is all about taking the path of least resistance. For me, that meant breastfeeding, cloth diapering with hand-knit wool covers (hardly gets any rash that way), not using a baby bucket car seat (too heavy, IMO), and other various and assundry odd things. The things that worked for me weren't necessarily the things I thought would work for me, and I was just smart enough to go with reality instead of trying to live my ideal but not easily attainable life.

If it works to nightwean, go for it. But don't be surprised or too disappointed if it doesn't work the first time (or second or third) you try it.

Good luck!

[mommy2maya]

I've found that my babies are not ready to night wean for hunger until they are closer to 18 months. Even now my 2.5yo takes a cup to bed with him, not sure if he is super thirsty at night, but I have to refill it twice most nights!

[pmcgary]

I agree with pp...but thought I would add...

If it is wearing on you (and I imagine it probably is getting pretty tiresome) maybe use the time when Dh is more available to experiment and see what changes you might make - that would ease things for you and be comforting for the girls....

I am thinking if they were to drop on feeding at night it would probably afford you a good relief.....

I know every child is different.....I had one who was sleeping 5 hours at 6 weeks and one who didn't do that until he was close to 6 (he didn't nurse at night all that time- but he was still disruptive)

Maybe 'bulking' them up at night...making sure they get a REALLy good feed right before bed or waking (I know that seems counterintuitive) them to top them off before you go to bed might help.

Personally, I think the night waking is something that is part of their survival instinct -- that there is a reason for it--biologically speaking....BUt I know that doesn't bring much comfort if you are d i e ing for a good night's sleep....

[baby baattoms]

I must be a mean, mean mommy...I never nursed my kids at night beyond about 3 or 4 months. They all slept thru the night between 2 months and 6 months. We did the crying it out thing and it worked. Not just cry and walk away, but the actual plan laid out by Dr. Ferber. He is a genius IMO and when you read the entire book it makes sense. They are 7, 5 and 3 now and are happy, healthy, and seem not to have suffered at all. I did nurse them all well beyond a year, just not at night. Most didn't take any solids at all until 6 months and weren't really "eating" until 9 or 10 months.

[eden/averymum]

WEll my ds weaned at night after I stopped breastfeeding around 7 months (thought my milk was drying up, I was 17, had no clue)

These guys will go 5-6 hours during the day, because they would rather eat solids, in the day they only nurse before naps and before bed and first thing in the a.m. Then every 3 hours at night. They are over 10 months and over 14lbs. I have never tried doing anything else with them at night, just kept on nursing. They don't nurse to sleep, they fall asleep on their own as long as, and only if, they are in their cribs, and it has to be the right crib too, I put them in the wrong cribs once in the middle of the night, OI!

I am going back to work in February and will have to work night shifts occasionally, I don't mind to keep nursing onbce, or even twice in the night, but I would really like at least one stretch at least four hours long. I can count the number of times I ahve slept longer than four hours, in the last year, on one hand.

[pmcgary]

Well they are certainly physiologically able to go for a 5 hour stretch (at least you know their bodies can handle it)

You might have the best luck with getting them to nurse more before bedtime ...They may also be nursing more at night to make up for cutting back in the daytime.....

I think from what you describe you will know if they are hungry b/c they won't settle w/other 'comfort' measures......

I think what I might try first is more frequent nursing later in the day and maybe a snack at bedtime/a bit before....And having their Daddy go in if they wake in 3 hours and see if they will settle for him (sometimes I think the scent of milk makes them decide they are 'hungry' or at least would like a little snack/cuddle with mom) And you can probably try gradually increasing that length of time they sleep or don't nurse at night....say in 15 minute increments (sort of gradually getting them used to it.)

[Pezdiva]

My son night weaned on his own at 15 mos, my DD is 2 and still wakes to nurse a few times a night. I am looking into night weaning but using the Dr. Jay Gordon method.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

[memiles]

For us, night nursing is much more about comfort than about nutrition. At almost 2.5, Ellie can do all day without nursing, but will nurse to sleep, and any time she wakes up. For me, it's not worth being kept awake with her whimpering and crying, when I can just pass her a boob and she falls back to sleep almost in an instant.

I know she can go all night without nursing, heck, she spent 2 nights with Grandma over Thanksgiving, and she goes to bed and sleeps for hours at night with daddy while I sit up and knit. Some nights she does sleep through, some nights she wakes 3 or 4 times.

My other daughter was the same way, and maybe it's my doing, lol I don't feel sleep deprived, if I was I might take steps to change it.

[eden/averymum]

I fell very sleep deprived, and as I said before, i don't mind nursing at night, but it is at least every 3 hours and about 1/3 of the nights they are up 5-6 times, always at least 3-4 times. I wouldn't mind if they at least skipped one feed so i could get some consolidated rest, but if two babies are up every three hours and it takes about 40 minutes to nurse them (they just won't sleep with us) then I am only getting about 2 hours sleep at a time on a good night. It is wearing at the end of the year.

[pmcgary]

I fell very sleep deprived, and as I said before, i don't mind nursing at night, but it is at least every 3 hours and about 1/3 of the nights they are up 5-6 times, always at least 3-4 times. I wouldn't mind if they at least skipped one feed so i could get some consolidated rest, but if two babies are up every three hours and it takes about 40 minutes to nurse them (they just won't sleep with us) then I am only getting about 2 hours sleep at a time on a good night. It is wearing at the end of the year.



You certainly NEED to be getting more sleep.......I know that the interrupted sleep was harder on me than no sleep at all.......
I can only imagine that times 2 it is even worse- I don't imagine that they cooperate and want to nurse at the same times either...doubling your time up.....

I think working with your dh to come up with a plan that works for you guys is the best you can do for you little darlings ....They need a rested mommy at this point more than they need breastmilk IMNSHO.(I sometimes feared in my sleep deprived state that all sorts of evil could have happened to my kids during the day b/c I was operating at less than full capacity....)

I hope my other posts conveyed that I heard your exhaustion.

I also know that with my kids whenever I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff ......they quickly stopped doing what it was that sent me there. (My oldest who started sleeping 5 hours at 6 weeks I think must have known that my ppd was related to sleep and that I probably would have landed in the hospital psych. ward if I didn't get some SLEEP!)

[eden/averymum]

Thanks Pam.

[desiree106]

My 15 mo still nurses ALL night just about. Doesn't bother me unless she starts the whole nipple twiddling thing. She cosleeps, and I literally sleep right through it. I only wake up usually if she stops nursing! Lol! FOr me, it is something that she uses for comfort and that I can tell she still needs. It doesn't affect my sleep at all, and she is a baby. You only have this time once. So I let her. I have more important things to worry about, KWIM?

Do you cosleep or do you get up with your kid? I think getting up for it would drive me bonkers. I just roll over when I want at night and roll with dd. It works for us.

[eden/averymum]

kids. not kid. That's the thing. I don't co-sleep. we did for about 5 months, but apparently our bed is where the party's at and there is no sleeping there. I get up when one wakes, bring her to bed and nurse, when she is done, she will roll over and start playing with my face or yabbering or whatever, so I pick her up put her back in her crib (in our room) and grab the other, do the same, then sleep another 2 ish hours. They just won't sleep with us, I wish that was the answer (mmmmm snuggles), when they are put back into their respective cribs they drop off straight to sleep on their own.

Maybe I will just start cutting them off the boob earlier? Before they come off on their own? gradually shorten the nursing length? Could it work?

[pmcgary]

kids. not kid. That's the thing. I don't co-sleep. we did for about 5 months, but apparently our bed is where the party's at and there is no sleeping there. I get up when one wakes, bring her to bed and nurse, when she is done, she will roll over and start playing with my face or yabbering or whatever, so I pick her up put her back in her crib (in our room) and grab the other, do the same, then sleep another 2 ish hours. They just won't sleep with us, I wish that was the answer (mmmmm snuggles), when they are put back into their respective cribs they drop off straight to sleep on their own.

Maybe I will just start cutting them off the boob earlier? Before they come off on their own? gradually shorten the nursing length? Could it work?

Actually depending on whose definition you are using you ARE co-sleeping...just not bed sharing......

You could try taking them off sooner -- IME that just resulted in my kids waking sooner the next time.....

I think you probably will just need a couple of nights of 'experimenting' to see what is acceptable to the girls and beneficial for you to catch a few more zzzzzz's

do let us know how what ever you do goes. (Oh and I soooo envy those moms who could sleep and nurse at the same time...about the best I ever did was recline with a tv pillow and doze a bit.)