co-sleepers where does baby sleep before you go to bed?

[Ruth]

Up til now dd has slept in the sling on me during the evenings before we go to bed but she's starting to get a bit heavy for that and I think she might sleep better in her cot. I put her down in her cot the other night and she even fell asleep herself and stayed there until just after we went to bed then I fetched her in with us. But every night since then she's cried when I've tried to put her down and this disturbs DS so I haven't had the determination to leave her there and I've just given in and taken her down with me and worn her in the sling again.

Any advice for me? I'd like my evenings back now really. DH won't look after her because she cries so I need to get her sleeping in her cot so I can go swimming in the evenings (I used to go 3x a week while I was pregnant and I loved it, + my swim buddy who had her dd 8 days after my dd still goes 3x a week and her DH just minds the baby :superb ) and knit unencumbered. I feel like I'm doing this :getu to myself sometimes and the rest of the time I feel like that towards DH. Whoever invented 'me time' has got a lot to answer for - I might not have known what I was missing.

[mhurst]

I don't have an answer for you, however I would love to see the responses.

Our DS is almost 2 and sleeps with us, BUT he doesn't really go to sleep until we do. :getu So, Charlie is up some nights until 11! (Insert Bad Mommy icon here)

THis is one thing I would like to change with the new baby...better nighttime routines.

I hear some parents talk about evening time to themselves and therefore I see that it it POSSIBLE, I've just never had it.

Just imagine spending an evening alone with DH without paying a babysitter :chin

[averymybaby]

I don't have an answer either, but here's what we do...

I put Avery down in out bed when she's ready, usually about 9 o'clock (she takes a late nap). She's a frequent waker so I spend my evenings in the next room (where the computer is), knitting and catching upon email, etc. Some nights I actually stay in there with her and sit on the bed and knit in the dark (with the TV on for light but no sound... very interesting). She's up usually 2 hours after she goes down and consistently every hour or two after that and really only gets back to sleep with nursing. During all of this DH is usually downstairs either A) watching _____ (insert show for day of the week here: Apprentice, Lost, Real World, etc.) B) playing Playstation football or C) sleeping on the couch. I usually end up staying up until 1 am because I am constantly interrupted with her wakings and it takes a looooong time for me to get anything done this way. Ever notice how the bulk of my posts are written between 11 pm and 1 am? ;)

I'd love some uninterrupted time to A) watch a movie B) watch the freakin NEWS once in a while so I know what day it is and/or the weather for tomorrow, C) knit without listening for her to have a nightmare and wake up D) have a few minutes truly unattached to my little squishy (just a few! I'm just wondering what it feels like these days).

Oh, and she's 9 months old, and we've been doing this since she came home 4 weeks after she was born, so 8 months. Now, granted, this arrangement allows her to go to sleep when she needs to but still cosleep with us, so that's a plus and that's why we do it. But I wouldn't recommend it. In fact I *definitely* don't recommend staying up until 1 am or later on a consistent basis. Makes for a very, very tired mama. :yawn At least she won't take naps without me laying down with her, that means I get to take one with her every now and then. But then DH wonders why the house is a mess. :faint

Oh wait, did I sound bitter? :chin

[RufusBeans]

since my dd can crawl, she goes down for naps on a foam pad on the floor, no exceptions. It only takes one, um incident, to decide that. I lay down next to her and nurse her to sleep. I don't know if you wan to do that or not if you are trying to get her to sleep independently. As soon as she falls asleep ,my nipple either falls out or I nudge it out and I go downstairs and knit!

mmmm swimming I would love to swim again. DH and used to go all the time before I was preggy to the hotsprings here, ah memories

anyway, dd goes to bed at 10pm, so I only get an hour to myself

regarding dh: I know what you mean...dd cries sometimes and the only way to comfort her is nursing or holding and walking. dh can't nurse and he has trouble holding and picking her up, so it goes to me. snow

[mommomrebecca]

My dd falls asleep lying down with one of us, while the other nurses baby to sleep (can you guess who that is?) Then we oh-so-carefully set the baby down in the bed, it usually takes 2 or 3 tries. And then we have some time to ourselves (like 3 minutes) before we decide we'd rather be sleeping than spending time together. If I want "me" time I just pinch myself to wake up from "wishful thinking land."

[Ruth]

DS slept with us until he was about 5 months old then I put him in his cot and used to be up with him about 10x per night then I worked with the health visitor when he was about 6 months old and did the 'gradual withdrawal' technique and then ended up with controlled crying but he did finally start going to sleep alone in his cot at about 7 months old and only used to wake once a night to nurse and from about 1yr he didn't used to nurse in the night at all. Since then and until dd was born he used to go to bed at around 7.30pm and wake around 7.30am and I stopped bfing him when I was about 3 months pregnant (he was 20 months or so).

So I've done the hard way before but I'm just wondering if there's a nicer way to do it this time or should I go with the experience I have that it is possible and it actually leads to a much nicer child and a much better parent child relationship (and parent parent relationship) if the kid goes to bed at a sensible time.

DD has definitely spent more attached time than DS did - he was 23.5lb at this age and there was no way I could wear him all night like I do her LOL. But I've definitely got used to the freedom of Tommy being in bed and I want the same with Millie. However he used to nurse to go to sleep but she doesn't fall asleep at the boob unless she has just roused for a feed in the night i.e. she was already asleep. So I suppose I'm one step ahead already there (she has a dummy which I was sworn against with DS but she was a whingy baby and now I swear by it LOL).

Oh, and also the fact she's in the sling means I can take her with me when I have to go up to settle DS in the evenings (DH is working of course in our Wahm/wahd business - and I just sit around doing 'nothing' :getu ).

[RufusBeans]

My dd falls asleep lying down with one of us, while the other nurses baby to sleep (can you guess who that is?) Then we oh-so-carefully set the baby down in the bed, it usually takes 2 or 3 tries. And then we have some time to ourselves (like 3 minutes) before we decide we'd rather be sleeping than spending time together. If I want "me" time I just pinch myself to wake up from "wishful thinking land."

hilarious! :LOL





but true

[pmcgary]

We used bed rails to keep kiddos on the bed.

No one should worry about night owls - unless you have a heavy daytime schedule to deal with. My Dh works late hours so my kids all got in the habit of staying up....We are on a better sleep routine now. But I find I need about the same amount of night time sleep as my kids get (the youngest does nap still a bit) So. it really doesn't matter when they go to bed- if I stay up much later than them...I am not ready to get up when there are - which makes for a REALLY bad day.

[norcalmommy]

We have a little routine that has worked 99% of the time.

DS gets sleepy between 7 and 8, so I usually take him to bed and nurse him while making sure whatever I'm cooking for dinner can sit for awhile until he goes down (dh usually gets home around 8). He falls asleep on the boob in our bed, then I oh-so-carefully get up without making any noise, finish cooking dinner, then dh gets home. HE's a very active awake little guy, but almost stationary sleeper, so he has never rolled off the bed after I've put him down for sleep. I surround him in pillows just in case.

We've tried putting him in his crib for the first stretch (which lasts anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours), but the crib is in the same room as the computer (small house :roll: ), so it would wake him up if we go into the room.

Good luck to you! :)

[dandelions2]

Kids go to bed before parents do? :lol:

We are night owls over here. We all stay up usually till Dom falls asleep which is like 11 - 11:30 on an average night - sometimes 1am...whatever. Then once he's asleep we all get in bed and dd nurses to sleep. Dh and I have alone time in the morning cause my stupid internal clock won't let me sleep past 7:30am, but the kids sleep in till 10 or 11 most days. I love my quiet mornings and wouldn't trade them for anything!

[RufusBeans]

We used bed rails to keep kiddos on the bed.

so did we :(

I meant on the floor for naps and befor I come to bed, after that lifted onto the bed

[Aurora]

Ds is 13 months and usually just goes to bed when I do. If I try and put him down earlier I nurse him to sleep in our bed, sneak away and knit or read or talk to dh for a bit and then have to run in and nurse ds back to sleep every 30 min. or so. It sucks. :crud: If I climb into bed with him he sleeps much better. He reaches one little hand out and feels for me and then settles back down. :love

So, I pretty much just give him a late nap and then let him stay up and play until dh and I are ready to go to bed.

[Susan_WW]

nak

Not a great solution but here's what we do...

DH works 12am-8am so I'm always on night duty. I lay down with dd and nurse her to sleep around 8-9 pm, then I get up reallt quietly and tiptoe out of the room. I put bed rails on the side of the bed and pillows all around her, and our bedroom is right next to the LR anyway so I hear her if she wakes up.

I tried putting her in her crib, but then the first (of many) times she woke up I'd get up iand bring her in bed with me anyway. She's still night nursing (we're working on it) so I figured we would all get more sleep this way.

HTH!

[dandelions2]

nak

Not a great solution but here's what we do...

DH works 12am-8am so I'm always on night duty. I lay down with dd and nurse her to sleep around 8-9 pm, then I get up reallt quietly and tiptoe out of the room. I put bed rails on the side of the bed and pillows all around her, and our bedroom is right next to the LR anyway so I hear her if she wakes up.

I tried putting her in her crib, but then the first (of many) times she woke up I'd get up iand bring her in bed with me anyway. She's still night nursing (we're working on it) so I figured we would all get more sleep this way.

HTH!

Susan,

when is your dd's b-day. My ds was born in Oct of 03 too and he still nurses many times a night...but then again, so does my dd who is almost 3! ;)

[Susan_WW]

Patti, Nicole was born on Oct 2nd. I did have her night weaned a couple of months ago but then she had a cold, then was teething alot, then another cold, so we're back to night nursing.

[Aurora]

My Tobias was born October 12, 2003. Lots of October babies! :fluffo Ds nurses several times at night as well.

[drea2447]

I usually start out the night nursing dd and then trying to lie her down on the bed and sneak out. 15 minutes later she's awake. I nurse her back to sleep and she sleeps on the couch, next to me, while I watch tv or knit. I pick her up and carry her to bed when I go. She'll usually nurse to sleep for five minutes or so and then wake once, or twice during the night. I, too, wish that I could put the baby down in our bed awake and have her fall asleep on her own. I know it will never happen. Oh well, they're only babies once. I know once she's bigger and sleeping on her own I'll want this time back, so I'm just gonna try and remember that when I'm stressing out about the bad sleep habits that I'm enabling.

[Sheena]

We have a great routine, started at birth... it might not be too late for younger babies. It is CRUCIAL to get the dad/partner involved early so they have no excuses to not be involved later. ;)

Stell gets sleepy around 8:30-9:00 so dh gets her in her nighty newt and pjs, puts on her music (Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead, some Aimee Mann, and Mazzy Star) and bounces her on the birth ball until she falls asleep.

She goes down on our bed in a pillow fort (she won't fall off because she ALWAYS starts crying before her eyes are even open) and sleeps for 2 hours, wakes to nurse and then sleeps pretty much through the night... sometimes she wakes to nurse here and there.

She knows daddy is the sleep man and that way I can go out pretty much whenever I want and stay out pretty late. Plus, I'm free while he puts her to sleep. It takes anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes depending on how tired she is.

He loves it, he won't let me do it, lol. It's their bonding time, KWIM?

Anyway, this REALLY worked for us and I always highly recommend it to preggos or new moms.

:)

[dandelions2]

Dom was born on the 10th. :)

My dd was night weaned at about 6 weeks old. Then she turned 1 and was waking every hour to nurse. But then I was preggo and my milk disappeared so she didn't nurse anymore at night till Dom was born.

[Ruth]

OK, reading all these replies I think I'm actually getting off quite lightly LOL. DD only usually nurses for 5 mins before she goes to sleep (around 8.00pm) but has to be rocked to sleep in my arms or the sling, then wakes to nurse for about 10mins at around 10pm, comes to bed with us around 11pm but doesn't wake when I lay her next to me in the bed - she wakes if I'm not there for any amount of time because she reaches out and finds I'm not there - then usually wakes around 5.00am to nurse and sleeps until 7.00am when she's wide awake and ready to start the day.

I also think I need to not get as grumpy as I do with DS when he won't settle straight away at night because really he's a very good boy for sleeping in his own bed all night even if he goes to sleep later than usual some days. I think I'd have died of tiredness if he'd have kept up the nursing 10x per night thing he had going on when he was little (he was also massive then, looked like he'd eaten all the :pie ).

One thing I will say is I admire all of you for your dedication to your kids - I think a lot of people in the world stand to learn a lot about bringing up good people by listening to you ladies. Thanks for all your advice - I feel a lot more relaxed about things now - I was too busy comparing myself with all the people I know here whose babies were all put in their own rooms at 2 weeks old :whip .