how about a "what my family said to me this weekend" thread?

[RufusBeans]

anybody get any zingers?

I'll start.
My sil, who is expecting her first in may, kept making comments at the dinner table when Katya fussed or I said I couldn't do something because of Katya like, "When Russ and I have kids, we're going to be the head of the household, not the baby" and "If I want my baby to do something, he'll do it. I am not an advocate of children's rights" :eek and "do you ever put ribbons in her hair" I told her no, Katya wouldn't stand for that kind of stuff. "Yeah well with my kids, I am going to be in charge not them"

then my brother and she were giggling about Katya'a name. (Like they haven't had seven months to get used to it)

"how do you say it again?"
"Kat-ya"
"Kachya" says he. "Kaddy-ya" says she. They giggle.
"you know at school she is going to have so much trouble with her name" says he. "I bet most people in school will call her Katrina" says she.
"That would be odd," says I, "Since her name is Yekaterina"
They giggle and try to pronounce Yekaterina. Poorly.
"Nobody will be able to pronouce that!!" they howl.
"If you would rather," says I, "Just call her Betty." her middle name.
They both think this is hilarious, which is odd that my brother would laugh. That was our grandma's name.

I tell them to just pronouce it like they have been. Its okay, all of the versions almost sound alike, and I am sure she'll recongze all of them. My dad calls her "Kach-a" My other brother says "Katty-ya". My mom says it right 50% of the time other wise she says it like my dad. Our doctor says it right. The correct way is to rhyme Kat with Hot, kind of like cot, then follow it with a 'ya' If you say it fast with out a break, that is her name. :)

ok, your turn comments about cloth diapers, cosleeping, wool, gentle parenting.....

edited to fix spelling

[pmcgary]

Too bad you don't have this on tape to play back to them in June, July .....August etc....I am just guessing they like many others are "perfect parents" --- until they have kids of their own..

And I am very proud of myself that I knew how your dd's name was pronounced....

And at school they will pronounce it however you ask them too.

I don't have any good ones from this weekend of what people SAID but on the Christmas list for gift exchange Cadence was written Cadie. I said if they were going to use Cadee they needed to spell it the way she does. (Actually I was more polite)Actually I should have been grateful they didn't do Candace or Katie (how you get that from Cadence I will never know!)

[ravingcutie]

They'll eat their words as soon as that baby pops out!

Katya is not hard to pronounce! I realize that since it isn't so common here it might be intimidating, but they should be respectful none the less.

All discussions this weekend by my inlaws concrened my SIL's new hubby. He's a nut according to them, and I'm inclined to believe it. They didn't make any rude comments, but I could tell that they were biting their tongues and trying not to say all the things they really wanted to.

[dandelions2]

Hmmm...we spent Thanksgiving with only my side of the family so I didn't hear a single nasty thing! Yay!

[imonion]

hmmm...the only thing is that my sis and i parent very differently and so when we spend extended periods of time together with our kids, she notices the differences more and comments. she cannot believe my 10 mo. old is still waking at night to nurse (he started again when he started cutting teeth) and that i don't have him on a strict schedule.

[marnie]

"20 minutes is a good nap. let's wake her up or we'll be late for lunch."

[jmo]

Wow. I'm so sorry you have relatives that live a life completely devoid of tact. :hug It is amazing, though, the instant turnaround some couples go through when the baby actually arrives. :lol Do keep us informed when it happens. :brow

My ILs and a few ppl in my family can do some zingers, but fortunately just about everyone thinks that Anwyn is absolutely perfect, so that really helps. ;)

[Susan_WW]

Ugh, that stinks! :goodgrief

The only comment that I heard was "She's STILL nursing", to which I responded "Yes". Then I made the mistake of "explaining" to them that she was sick, then teething, then sick again, so I didn't feel that it was the right time to wean her. Then they made the dumb assumption that just because she's teething she's biting me as she nurses :roll: Good grief! I've only been bitten twice when she first got teeth.

Mind you, most of the comments were made by my 46 yo cousin who never had kids.

[mhurst]

Yea I got the "You're still nursing" and "how often does he nurse" and "he STILL sleeps with you" (the last one from my cousin who bragged that she had both of her daughters in their own room at 1 week.)

DS will be 2 in December.

I was really suprised I DIDN'T get the "you're nursing while pregnant!" comment :brow

[RufusBeans]

"20 minutes is a good nap. let's wake her up or we'll be late for lunch."


:roll: are they parents?

[marnie]

of course not!

[cozystitches]

I got the "she's not interested in nursing anymore see, she wants more regular food" blah, blah, blah. I tried not to nurse too much because of the comments (she's always attached, not happy unless she's got a titt in her mouth, yada yada). Yeah..she's 7mos and wanting to wean..whatever...oh, and this was MY mom..ugh

hugs,
tammy

[twouglyducks]

Wow. I didn't get any this week, but it's gotten to where they save it for behind my back. I don't really care as long as they don't say that crap in front of my kids anymore.

20 minutes is a good nap?? For whom??

[BethyM99]

No comments, I did get some dirty looks when I told aunt and MIL that they didn't need to make accomodations for 3yr old to watch TV DURING Thanksgiving dinner.. It was "Elf" none the less which I know nothing about and didn't want to make that decision on the spot. I was in a pretty foul mood after that so they left me alone.

*gasp* to think I wanted to eat together with the family :rolleyes

[marnie]

I had a few family members make some comments when she was 4 or 5 months old and i made it pretty clear that i planned on nursing until she felt like stopping. I have no idea what they think but no one says anything. That said, we really only nurse for naps or bed or when there's a disaster needing comfort (a big spill, etc.) so it's not like anyone sees us nursing so they don't get much chance to say anything.

My mom occasionally makes a "you're so limited in what you can do because she's still breastfeeding" comment (limited? meaning i can't leave maya with her overnight - not that i would, anyway!) and i ignore her.

i get more comments about the fact that i dress her like a boy than anything else.

as far as naps go - i don't like being one of those sleep tyrants, but i am totally one of those sleep tyrants. maya's 19 months old and has only JUST started sleeping/napping well and i am NOT willing to mess with it. 20 minutes is a great nap... if you're a cat.

[RufusBeans]

re: breastfeeding

I know they rolled there eyes at me when I sprawled out on the floor every hour for katya to nurse or when I nursed in the car and in the mall when we were shopping but they didn't say anything to me.
but I asked sil if she was planning on breastfeeding and she said yes, but that she is going to get a pump to feed bottles while they are out because it's more convenient

I told told her that bottles are anything but convenient and pumping is a pain (I know, Katya couldn't latch on her first 4 weeks) But she looked at me like I was green.

[marnie]

the BF thing is so interesting. i was SURE i would hate it, SURE i would pump and use bottles, SURE i would be mortified nursing in public...

[BethyM99]

At least she's plannin on breastfeeding. There are those in my family that have refered to bf as gross :(

[pamelamama]

ewwwww human milk!!?? for HUMAN BAbIES?? How Bizarre you are beth, to even consider such a thing. :rolleyes:

[marnie]

i think it's kind of gross when hot fudge drips from my sundae onto my fingers with a little melted ice cream and whipped cream. it's pretty gross but i have no problems whatsoever licking it off.

[pageta]

Bottlefeeding while in public is great until you remember that the milk that got in the bottle had to come from somewhere and it's on your chest and your breasts feel full and you start to feel a plugged duct coming on. I hate pumping, even when I'm at home - that's why I nurse in public.

[pamelamama]

:nod

[CraftyMommaOf2]

our's was perfect! we didn't invite anyone and didn't go anywhere. :pink the closest family right now is almost 12 hrs away. we stayed in our jammies all day too. :LOL dh's grandma said some things to me when Brayden was a babe about me nursing him. i told her i love my child and will do the best for him...bfing is best, so that's what i do. she rolled her eyes. she can be a nasty ole thing, but i have put her in her place, gently, and she knows not to say things like that to me again. :lol:

[averymybaby]

I got the "she's not interested in nursing anymore see, she wants more regular food" blah, blah, blah. I tried not to nurse too much because of the comments (she's always attached, not happy unless she's got a titt in her mouth, yada yada). Yeah..she's 7mos and wanting to wean..whatever...oh, and this was MY mom..ugh

hugs,
tammy

You sure our families aren't related? That's the spiel I get EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Oh and I also got the lovely "I thought breastfed babies weren't supposed to be fat?" from my sister. "I thought they were supposed to be thinner than she is." :faint Mind you, she's 35 weeks and *just* took the breastfeeding class, so I think she's a little high in that IYKWIM, but seriously... my dd is about 23-24 pounds now but she started out at 3 lb. 11 oz - so I don't care HOW much she weighs at this point, I'm proud of her for being the size she is! GRRRR!!!!

Also got the comments on being tied to the baby, needing to pump, needing to get her to use a cup (she doesn't get it yet, and I'm not going to push her... what, she needs my milk in a cup for some reason? is there ever a situation when I can't just pop her on a boob? no.), etc. etc. And the "she needs one big giant meal of solids at about 9 o'clock. then she'll sleep through the night!" (from my mom) :goodgrief

uhm, no. she eats solids maybe once a day (sometimes not every day just yet, we just started a few weeks ago), and she's picky about what she likes. and she doesn't eat very much, maybe an ounce on average? she's a baby, her stomach is tiny. cereal gave her a belly ache the time we tried it so we never went back.. why would I fill her tummy up like a rock? she's just one of those kids who doesn't sleep through the night at this age. she just needs to wake up. :moon BAH!!!

[CraftyMommaOf2]

omg! brayden still gets up in the night sometimes and he's 3!!

[pmcgary]

Ha! My 5 year old ends up in our room every morning around 4 a.m. I am not even sure he wakes to make the short walk from his room to ours...He just sort of "appears" in our bed.

[CraftyMommaOf2]

b is in our bed about that time every am too! :LOL at least they go back to sleep!

[lifetapestry]

I have come to the totally original conclusion that people are weird.

My parents are really pretty mellow at this age -- my 81 year old father is losing a lot of his edge along with his short term memory. My mother is only 64, but she is a very easy to please and warm person. They are terrific houseguests-- they get their own breakfast and lunch, and are happy to eat anything. My father did ask if Noah was "still nursing" when he was 8 months old. I don't think it even occurs to him that Noah is "still nursing" at well past 3. He did make repeated comments about Noah's nekkid bum, which does so well potty-ing as long as we're at home.

I so do not get the bottles are more convenient in public comment. Latching baby on is the essence of convenience; it takes about 3 seconds. Pumping milk, washing the pump, labeling and storing the bottles, sterilizing bottles, packing them in the diaper bag, making sure they are at the exact right temperature (lest baby not eat them), packing the half used bottles back in the diaper bag, remembering to take the bottles out of the diaper bag and refrigerate them and/or throw the contents away, resterilizing the bottles. Somebody needs to explain how exactly bottles are more convenient.

karla

[RufusBeans]

I so do not get the bottles are more convenient in public comment. Latching baby on is the essence of convenience; it takes about 3 seconds. Pumping milk, washing the pump, labeling and storing the bottles, sterilizing bottles, packing them in the diaper bag, making sure they are at the exact right temperature (lest baby not eat them), packing the half used bottles back in the diaper bag, remembering to take the bottles out of the diaper bag and refrigerate them and/or throw the contents away, resterilizing the bottles. Somebody needs to explain how exactly bottles are more convenient.

karla

exactly. Well put.

[marnie]

i think bottles are more convenient (in theory) to those who are thinking you've got to find a secret, hidden, private place, remove yourself from the company you're with (making everyone wait for you), interrupt whatever you're doing, etc.

i for one never imagined i would be comfortable nursing on the subway - so if you have that image, that you can't nurse on the subway, you suddenly find bottles more convenient than dealing with a hungry, screaming child for the length of your ride.

[lifetapestry]

i think bottles are more convenient (in theory) to those who are thinking you've got to find a secret, hidden, private place, remove yourself from the company you're with (making everyone wait for you), interrupt whatever you're doing, etc.

That is a good explanation, even if the underlying assumptions are not true. I never mastered nursing while in a sling and walking (was a bit skittish about it), so I guess that to some extent I would be inconvenienced while out because I would have to sit down. But isn't that true if you bottlefeed? (or do you just prop up a bottle with baby in the stroller?). I thought you had to sit down to feed the baby a bottle too, at least when they are pretty young.

Karla

[knittingnana]

:wowza OMG, I feel for all of you mamas! DH's parents never liked me-we have been married 33 years! They always wished we would get divorced! We showed them! They treated me terrible. As my kids got older, MIL started to treat my DD like she treated me. She liked my DH and DS. She always made comments about my hair, my weight, my cooking,anything she could. We never had a Holiday here at our house except when they went away for the holidays. Now that I am a MIL, I will never treat my kids spouses as I was treated. We have not spoken, DH too, to them in over 5 years! DH finally realized they are really mean and did cause us alot of stress in our lives. Thankfully they live far away! Even my kids don't see or hear from them. Hang in there mamas and do what is best for you and your family!
:knit :wool
They never liked my knitting either! Imagine that!!!

[marnie]

i think bottles are more convenient (in theory) to those who are thinking you've got to find a secret, hidden, private place, remove yourself from the company you're with (making everyone wait for you), interrupt whatever you're doing, etc.

That is a good explanation, even if the underlying assumptions are not true. I never mastered nursing while in a sling and walking (was a bit skittish about it), so I guess that to some extent I would be inconvenienced while out because I would have to sit down. But isn't that true if you bottlefeed? (or do you just prop up a bottle with baby in the stroller?). I thought you had to sit down to feed the baby a bottle too, at least when they are pretty young.

Karla

i'm just going on what my images were before Maya. I imagined that i could sit and have a cup of coffee while bottle feeding but that i'd be hiding in the bathroom to breastfeed. Also, i could hand the baby and bottle to someone else so i could have my coffee/lunch/whatever. funny the way our priorities shift once we have kids, huh?

[gorzong]

We avoided all family this year! So, it was just Liam and me. We really were wishing we had the baby here too so it was a little sad.. kept imagining we would finally have her home for next Thanksgiving.

But both sides of our family drive us batty except for a couple sisters on my side and one sister on his side whom we are very close to. No one dares question our future parenting style though because they'll hear it from me.

I am still sad about breastfeeding. Adopting a 6-month old, it's just too difficult to attempt inducing lactation. I investigated it, and it's just too risky for me. I am very high-risk for allergies (to medications and herbs) and have very screwed up hormones as it is. Plus, so much is going to be changing in her life already that I didn't think it was fair to her to change this on her too.

So, we are forced to be bottle feeders. :( We'll be lugging all those bottles around and formula and worrying about warming it and all that. We still think that bottle feeding can be a way of bonding with her since we'll be doing it lovingly and not doing it resentfully. It horrifies me to think of people just propping a bottle up for the babe.

I often read all the stories here and MDC about breastfeeding, and I have to share something with you all that may sound so stupid. But, I am one of the people out there who is often staring while you're breastfeeding. I'm not staring because I'm nosey or inconsiderate. I'm staring because I think you are doing one of the most amazing and beautiful things in the world for your baby, and it's something I will never be able to do for a child. I am just in such awe of the sheer beauty and magic of it. Those of you who do it 1000s of times throughout your life may forget how special it is. But, I never do.

Okay, now I've made myself cry, but I just had to share that little tidbit. So, if you see some weird lady staring at you sometime while you're NIP, she may just be longing for something she may never have and may be just so proud of you all and not have any idea how to say it.

Holli

[drea2447]

Holli, don't be sad about bottlefeeding. As long as there is a person talking to her and loving her at the other end of the bottle, that's what counts. We all know that bottles and formula are necessary. It's people who are against nursing and who bottle prop that we are against. Have you ever thought about one of those things that you can wear and tape to your nipple that the baby can get formula from. Obviously it would just be a bonding thing, but maybe that could help you to experience what nursing is like. Heck, Liam could even try it. Don't be sad. Soon you will hold your daughter and be able to feed her and love her, and make her grow big and strong. :mwah

[ravingcutie]

Holli, you've made me all teary! You're such a sweetheart. I'm sorry you can't breastfeed like you want to. I know that must make you so sad, but don't feel like we're down on you for bottle feeding. I second what Andrea said; it's just sad when mama don't consider what's best for their child and stuff a bottle in their mouths. You have obviously spent much time considereing what's best - good for you!

[RufusBeans]

Holli, I find I don't mind when people stare because it is the people who are curious, who are trying to learn, who are interested that stare. Anybody uncomfortable usually looks away. So don't be afraid to stare!

I don't think anybody here was down on bottlefeeding. I think we were referring to bottle feeding pumped bm, beacuse that is a pain because your breasts are full and yet they are not getting emptied.

Formula and bottle feeding is just as loving as bf--its not the package but the person behind it that counts :mwah

[mommomrebecca]

O.K. Holli now you have me crying too. Since I'm not allowed to be nursing my boy right now, I've been crying like every 15 minutes. He won't even take a bottle, so we have to squirt syringes of formula down his throat and it doesn't feel loving at all. Sorry, this doesn't even make much sense.

Here are a couple of doozers from an anonymous family member on my husband's side this past week. I could fill this thread every week, seriously.

Offering me some of her wool yarn she isn't using, but then mentioning it was a gift from my husband's ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Then laughing and saying how funny that is. Why would that be funny or even necessary to mention? Now my free wool is tainted.

Looking horrified and making comments I won't repeat when I put breastmilk in a sippy cup for the 2 year old. Is that so weird? Is it any different than a 2 year old nursing? I'm having to pump all this milk and I don't see why it should have to go down the drain.
:goodgrief

[RufusBeans]

I've been crying like every 15 minutes. He won't even take a bottle, so we have to squirt syringes of formula down his throat and it doesn't feel loving at all. Sorry, this doesn't even make much sense.


oh sweetie it makes sense! Poor Levi! I had to squirt syringes down Katya's throat when she was first born while her mouth healed. It was horrible! I so wanted to cuddle her and instead I was laying her flat across my knees and hoping I do it slow enough so she didn't choke.

A two year old should have bm in a sippy cup too if its available!

Hope Levi gets better

[chloesmom]

Oh Holli! I am hoping by this time next year you will have a baby to share the holidays with! :mwah